The amount of nervous moments that a new mom goes through within the first few months of their child’s life cannot be measured in numbers, but in restless nights, tenth second guesses, and Google searches attempting to diagnose the newest noises and reactions. God knows that I’ve had to put my phone down after working myself into umpteen million frenzies. Thank goodness I always have my mom as a sounding board and therapist for those moments when I’ve lost sight of what is normal and what is unjustified paranoia. These past (almost) four months have been a series of exercises in reigning it in when common sense isn’t so common. But hey! I’m a first time mom! I’m allowed a few…many…TONS of freak outs. Here is a list of some of the more first-timey moments I’ve caused/experienced since March 22nd.
- Hear the baby crying throughout his nap as well as when he isn’t even home.
- Check on the napping baby no less than every five minutes. (See #1 for reason why)
- Staying awake the entire night to watch the baby sleep because I’ve convinced myself that he will smother himself in the shit show of a swaddling I attempted.
- Questioning the installation of my son’s car seat base even after it was checked and approved by the local fire station experts.
- Taking my son from another adult to burp him because apparently I’m the only one who knows how to properly pat a baby’s back.
- Sit in the backseat of the car next to my son during a 20 minute trip because I was afraid he would get lonely.
- Pack three outfit changes, three full bottles, two pacifiers, a swaddler sleep sack, two burp cloths, twelve diapers, a full pack of wipes, and baby powder for a two-hour visit at my mom’s house.
- Keeping a three foot protective radius around the baby to keep the dog back while my son is playing on the floor.
- Rocking a sleeping baby an extra 10, 20, 30 minutes just because he is so precious.
- Cry silent tears of love and gratitude for this little miracle in our lives.
Forever Within the Numbered Pages 